There are numerous web pages devoted to the Bourne versus Bond debate. Who’s the superior in your book? Robert Ludlum’s brainwashed bionic man – a gritty, focussed, über-assassin, who wouldn’t be distracted by Swedish supermodels or a bottle of Bollinger; or Ian Fleming’s naval commander – not just a resourceful killer, but a witty philanderer and nouveau cuisine connoisseur.

Whatever your decision, there’s no denying that the Ludlum character’s film franchise resulted in Bond being (ahem) bourne again. Daniel Craig’s new, more bruising Bond, owes a lot to Matt Damon’s rogue spy; there are less quips, less gadgets and less girls in Casino Royale, as no doubt will also be true of the upcoming Quantum of Solace.

I’ve never been a big fan of the Tequila Slammer: licking a lime then snorting salt before downing a dose of Mexican firewater (I’m sure that’s how it’s supposed to be done) seems an awful lot more bother than supping a good old pint of Pedigree.

But if you are a fan of the worm-ridden liquor then despair as its price is about to hit the roof. Fields of the plant from which it is derived, the blue agave, are being uprooted in Mexico in order to grow cash crops that make more green – dollars that is – namely wheat and corn.

Much of JRR Tolkien’s fantasy epic, The Lord of the Rings was inspired by the author’s experiences on the battlefield of the Somme. The dedication of Samwise to Frodo was a reflection of the loyalty of a batman – a military version of a butler- to his officer. And the industry of Saruman’s mines and forges, and the raising of an Orc army to wipe out humankind mirrored the mechanisation of warfare in the First World War.

The controversy surrounding this week’s Lambeth Conference will be seen by some not simply as in-house fighting within the Anglican Communion, but as the final nail in the coffin of Christendom. For some, the ongoing debate over homosexuality marks a divergence between secular and biblical worldviews that cannot easily be reconciled.

Being a policeman is not an easy task. Take the other night, for example; the PC visiting the youth group I help out with had the unenviable task of giving a talk on police policy for stopping and searching young people. A fairly routine PR exercise for the boys in blue, but in this instance the speaker knew not only that many of the youths had first hand experience of being stopped and searched, but also that it was he who had carried out those searches.

‘Wrraaaarrggghh! Hulk smash!’ Fan boys have to wait an hour-and-a-half into the new film, The Incredible Hulk, to hear those two, well, nearly three, immortal words roared out by the anything but jolly green giant, but it’s certainly worth the wait. It comes in a smack-down between our verdant-skinned hero and his devastatingly powerful, and equally emerald mutant opposite, The Abomination.

I sacked Simon Smith. Yep, I gave this week’s hapless contestant on The Apprentice his marching orders. OK, the TV evidence is that it was the lovable epitome of all things shrewd and opportunist, Sir Alan Sugar, who fired him – but at least I was there to back up his decision. As part of the studio audience for The Apprentice: You’re Fired!, the follow-up show that interviews each week’s victim, I got to wave my red card at Simon when the mob was asked how we’d have handled him.