no sex please, we're teenagers

Brian Draper's avatar
Posted by Brian Draper Fri, 16/09/2005 - 3:41pm :: TV | more by Brian Draper

‘No sex please, we’re teenagers…’ You wouldn’t expect to hear that from the young people on your street corner. But right now, you might just be surprised. It’s the name of a much-talked-about three-part documentary series on BBC2, which follows 12 teenagers as they take a vow of celibacy for five months to explore the physical, emotional and sometimes spiritual possibilities for a healthier lifestyle.

The project, called Romance Academy, is run by two Christian youth-workers, Dan Burke and Rachel Gardner (who is married to LICC’s youth researcher, Jason). They believe that a period of sexual abstinence creates space for teenagers - from peer pressure, from drugs and alcohol, and from the insecurities of youth – to begin thinking more clearly and positively about themselves, their bodies and their relationships.

Yet abstinence, as the programme sensitively portrays, is not the ultimate aim in itself, but the means to a better end. The final programme (on Tuesday) reveals whether the group manage to fulfil its pledge; but the youth-workers have made it clear from the start that the course is not about staying the distance to win a prize, but about learning, instead, to experience grace – no matter what - and understanding how to make better decisions along the way.

Although the group visited the Silver Ring Thing project in Florida to see how the Americans don’t do it, they were not exposed to overtly Christian teaching while at the Romance Academy. They were so impressed by Dan and Rachel as role models, however – whose positive emphasis was on life ‘to the full’ - that they asked to find out more about the faith that drives them, and some have taken it further.

As sexually transmitted diseases increase and our teen-pregnancy rate remains so high, it’s hard to know what to do, or whether, even, to bother. Most of us, if we’re honest, are fearful of teenagers – believing the hype about ‘asbos’ and ‘hoodies’, and we’d prefer to leave well alone. But Rachel and Dan’s positive example is surely not just for the young people, but for us adults, too.

The 12 appearing on BBC 2 are clearly, deeply grateful that Rachel and Dan did bother – so much so that some have established their own groups for their peers. It’s not just an STD that’s contagious. Love spreads, too. And one changed life can change another, for good.

Brian Draper

additional resources

Come to LICC on October 3 to hear Dan and Rachel discuss their experience of filming No Sex Please, We're Teenagers, and of running the Romance Academy. LICC's 'Connecting with Culture Live' starts at 6.30pm (for 7) and costs £7 (concs £5) at St Peter's, Vere Street, London W1G 0DQ. Ring 020 7399 9555 or e: mail@licc.org.uk.

Find out more about Romance Academy at www.romanceacademy.org.

'BBC Show sets teen sex challenge' - at www.bbc.co.uk.

Find out what the Mirror had to say about the programme at www.mirror.co.uk.

Another review, this time from the Times.

'Oasis Esteem has been delivering Personal Social Health and Citizenship Education (PSHCE) across the country since 1987. From these years of experience, both in the UK and across the world, we have developed a wide range of services geared towards young people, as well as providing support for teachers, youth workers, parents and school governors.'
Could we make the resource available?
Posted by  Andy Bastable on Fri, 16/09/2005 - 10:55am.
Thanks Brian, that's an excellent summary of my reactions to the program too! As someone who lives in a community of such hoodie-clad teenagers, my young wife and I have noted how we tend to fear more than love - and this programme has been a real godsend to help us redress that imbalance, even igniting passion to start making a difference too.

I missed the first episode though, only picking up the second of the three. Is there scope for someone (LICC perhaps) to produce a video or DVD of the series? I feel that a number of people would benefit from being able to see the amazing result of reaching out to these kids with love - and it'd be a shame if it was lost to gather dust in the BBC archives.

:)

Andy
Just what I was thinking, And
Posted by  Anonymous on Fri, 16/09/2005 - 11:43am.
Just what I was thinking, Andy. Not only would this be a useful tool for adults, it could also be used to spark discussion in youth groups. It would be great if LICC (or even the BBC if they didn't want to permit someone else to have selling rights) could package this up as a DVD or video for others to be able to buy. We'd buy a copy!

Elisabeth.
It' been a great series givin
Posted by  freddie on Fri, 16/09/2005 - 2:50pm.
It' been a great series giving lots of opportunities to challenge non-Christian colleagues & friends. My one frustration was the extent to which the earlier programme's American church experience distracted from the theme of celibacy. Wasn't it predictable that group members would find the service uncomfortable? I know plenty of Christians who would too! And its effect has been to make some of my colleagues lump the whole issue of celibacy into the same whacky, way-out-west category as the church service we saw. But Rachel and Dan have done a fantastic job challenging cultural norms and giving us an excuse to talk Christ to our mates - thank you.
DVD
Posted by  Anonymous on Sun, 18/09/2005 - 10:10pm.
Hi I am a youth leader and have found the series really inspiring - I would definately support some sort of resource coming out... well done everyone involved!!
Heather, Brussels
no sex please - we're teenagers
Posted by  Anonymous on Fri, 16/09/2005 - 3:40pm.
I was 16 when I was challenged with 'no sex before marriage' and lost my virginity at 21 - on my honeymoon! I can vouch for the positive effects - even after 32 years of marriage. It's the only 'way to go' in my book. Practicing abstinence outside of marriage makes faithfulness within marriage that much easier - it's just a matter of self will.
No Sex Please
Posted by  Jason Gardner on Fri, 16/09/2005 - 8:06pm.
Hi guys glad you enjoyed the programme, there are no plans to create a dvd yet but maybe in the future. The Romance Academy site will keep you posted.
Meanwhile I've started a forum on the series on the licc site. I'd be happy to try and answer any questions about the show you may have.

Just follow the links to the forum and head to TV on the Connecting website
hi my names chelsea,im a 15 y
Posted by  Anonymous on Tue, 20/09/2005 - 11:27pm.
hi my names chelsea,im a 15 year old girl doin my last year in school doing my gsce's i would like to just say how touched i was by the programme and i would like that sort of thing in my area(middlesex) i think that all the teenagers on the show deserve sooo much respect for what they done and im goin to do the same,i want to be in a relationship where a boy exepts me for me and not what are in between my legs i want to be respected and loved for the good person that i beleive i am.
good on them all!
chelsea xxxxx
for Chelsea
Posted by  Jason Gardner on Thu, 22/09/2005 - 11:04am.
Chelsea, have you visited the Romance Academy site yet? www.romanceacademy.org? Email them and they might be able to let you know when something's happening in your area.
Thanks for the encouragement as well I'll pass on your comment to Rache and Dan.
The idea is great! Unfortunat
Posted by  galin on Fri, 11/07/2008 - 8:04pm.
The idea is great! Unfortunately, this feeling called 'love' hasn't the same meaning nowadays for these kids. This thing with this show is wonderful. At least some of them will realize what's the real sense of this world!

_______________________

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With love (and extra resources, group-work ideas and links...)
from
www.licc.org.uk/culture.