House Rules
In a recent 'Connecting with Culture' we looked at the power that we give to our houses to shape the way we live. This week, we explore the flipside of that question: the house as a place of power.
Whether it's the choice of purchases, the division of housework, who we welcome, the setting of bedtimes, or the control of the TV remote, power is exercised. And much of this power is wielded necessarily, for good and with wisdom.
However, our culture increasingly tries to convince us that our home is primarily a context for leisure, escape and entertainment, rather than relationship and nurture. The dangerous corollary of this attitude is that we see the home as being primarily about ourselves, rather than others. Out of the conviction that our home should suit us, we can start to exercise power negatively: out of laziness, a need to control, or the desire to have our world bend around our needs, comforts and whims. Few of us may have servants nowadays, but it is still possible to operate a household where we treat those closest to us as such.
The reality of domestic abuse, both physical and emotional, shows the darkest side of power and control exercised behind closed doors. Women's Aid statistics suggest this could be a reality for as many as one in four women at some point in their lives.
We each need to become conscious of the power we wield in our homes.
The one we worship, Lord of all, bends his knee and washes the feet of his disciples (John 13:1-17). In so doing, he embraces mundane housework. We need to resist what the writer Kathleen Norris terms, 'our culture's ideal self' which is 'the accomplished, professional self, [that] rises above necessity, the humble, everyday, ordinary tasks that are best left to unskilled labour.' Power that serves only to cement our own comfort leads to a two-tier view of reality, where we stand over others. However, power that is relationally directed seeks to recognise and serve the good of the other.
Those who exercise power in the home perhaps need to embrace housework as a spiritual discipline. A spiritual discipline turns us to God and reminds us who we are, and dispels our illusions that the world revolves around us. Perhaps as we, too, bend the knee, scrub the floor, clean the toilet... we will be reminded that power and service are inseparable in every sphere of the Christian life - at home, at work, wherever we are.
Ben Care
Links
You can buy Kathleen Norris' book, The Quotidian Mysteries - Laundry, Liturgy and Women's Work here...
Comments
WOW! Thank you so much for the article- it struck a chord in this household for one! I as main person at home responsible for constantly fighting against the constant tsunami of others' messy habits, often find myself at the thin end of graciousness....It really helped to be challenged by remembering Jesus' washing of feet, and keeping my motivations in check, and my rantings and control tendencies, also to remember that home is about relationships and nurture. Praise God that at the end of a ratty day, there is forgiveness and new grace for the next. I just wish you'd sent us this article at the BEGINNING of the school holidays!
Most women still carry out the mundane household tasks cleaning the toilet, vacuum cleaning, washing up, clearing up the mess when a child (or adult) vomits and so on. I hope the opposite of that is not implied ie that it is womans work and she should be there not speaking in public in Church or else where. Mundane tasks as above or mowing the lawn are good to do , it can be a time for reflection, it can be a release from stress and it results in clean comfortable place to BE in. When student Nurses were cheap labour , doing munch of the cleaning changing beds etc controlled by ward nursing sisters, there was very rarely cross infection or " hospital bugs " doing cleaning from the young nurses point of view was a release from the stress of ward full of very sick or dying people. We should none of us including men resist the need to carry out mundane tasks . M.Q.
This is such an interesting article - one of the best I have read from LICC in months! It really made me think about how I view my home as a place of entertainment and comfort above a space for hospitality. I remember when Ikea did some ad stuff last year about home being really important and I had such a hard time with them doing that as a shop...all based on economies of comfort and security. Dangerous stuff in my opinion.
Date:
2010-08-31 22:14:21
Author:
Kate