Beckham's Foot
Holy relics are usually garnered from those for whom life's final whistle has already shrilled. But the second metatarsal bone on David Beckham's left foot has been the subject of such reverential scrutiny that you could be forgiven for believing a saint already walks - or at least limps - among us.
The nation of course, is praying for a supernaturally quick healing - thanks to both the Sun and Yuri Geller (on GMTV), who called upon us to 'lay hands' on a photo of the afflicted region.
Tony Blair pitched in by declaring that 'nothing was more important' to our World Cup bid than the foot's recovery. Meanwhile, the tabloid front pages were all in step: the Star, Mail and Express showed the England captain on crutches, while the Sun and the Mirror featured huge close-ups of what the latter deemed 'the most important foot in British sporting history'. (Would the Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish agree?)
ITV also led with the story on its lunchtime national news, despite the fact that word was already filtering through of a suspected massacre at Jenin on the West Bank...
We still don't know what happened to the hundreds of Palestinians who are rumoured to have been bulldozed and buried under the bricks of their own homes. Few, perhaps, care that much to find out where Jenin's rubble even lies; though many of us now know exactly where to locate the second metatarsal on the anatomical map.
We live, of course, in a world full of bizarre juxtaposition. Daily, we must surf and sift the information and entertainment that is offered up to us as 'reality' through our TV sets. But how many more of us channelled healing energy into the screen for the midfielder than for the Middle East?
Football is a beautiful game, and Beckham's foot - though aesthetically less pleasing - is no doubt a worthy cultural icon. Books and plays will be written of it; Christians, of course, will spin their columns from it...
But it might also remind us - if we didn't already need a quick boot in the tabloids - to lay our hands, each day, on the real news.
Brian Draper
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