Tightrope walking
A thirteen-year-old on a school trip actively helped classmates to hide shoplifted goods from their teachers. When questioned she talked about commitment to friends, about peer group loyalty, about not being a telltale, and about the fear of being ostracised as a goody-goody. Some parents, fearing such pressures and influences, home-school their children, wanting them to mature and grow in Christian wisdom before they face the challenge of maintaining their integrity in the complex relationships of social living.
Yet, even those of us who are mature adults don't always find it easy to maintain warm working relationships and our Christian integrity when we live and work closely with all kinds of people. We may be faced with several choices of action where it is simply not clear which is the right course. Faced with an issue that involves following 'wicked' advice or joining in with scoffers, do we walk away, stay silent, protest or what? Like the girl on the school outing, we too can see the importance of maintaining good relationships with colleagues, keeping quiet so as not to antagonise or look like wet blankets. It can seem such good sense to compromise rather than sacrificing our influence, and, of course, we may be right even with hindsight.
Rudyard Kipling defined maturity as being able to 'talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings, nor lose the common touch.' - a maturity that doesn't try too hard to please and doesn't sacrifice integrity to keep the peace. We do not hold back from full and fruitful relationships whether at work, club, school or in the community, but we may sometimes have to say no and walk away. The decision may be very painful, but many have found unexpected allies who were longing for someone to take the lead. Maybe if the girl on the school trip had refused to collaborate with her classmates, more of them would have been relieved to follow suit. We do walk a tightrope sometimes, but our 'balance' will depend on our close relationship with the Lord who teaches us true discernment.
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