Leaving Las Vegas
"In strategy consulting there's enormous pressure. It's this relentless stress to think ahead of the client. You're always pushing. There's a sense of urgency about getting promoted." In a nutshell, that's Anna Marie's workaday world. At age 34, she is a senior consultant for the London-based consulting firm, Towers Perrin. She works long past the 40 hour mark, travelling throughout Europe to help companies put their human resources departments into topflight shape. She loves what she does.
Career life in London began in 2003. Anna Marie started on the bottom rung of management at a different consulting firm, one that boasted a jazzy reputation for putting tight-knit teams on long assignments in glamorous locations. Back then, however, the firm wasn't doing well in Europe. Assignments were scarce, job security tenuous. Afraid of losing her job, Anna Marie pushed for a US project. After two failed attempts, she was asked to join a team in Las Vegas for five months. They would come up with a brand strategy for a major casino operator that had just acquired a competitor. Anna Marie had two days to decide. She did not consider consulting her family. They had raised her in a strict Christian commune with strong views against gambling. Anna Marie turned instead to her bible study group. She remembers a banker there saying, "If you look at investment banking, it's not that different from gambling. You simply have to decide what your limits are." Anna Marie decided to say yes. "As soon as I arrived, I was taken aback by the sheer glamour and headiness of the place." Eager to please, she volunteered to assess all the client's properties. That meant playing blackjack and craps from Lake Tahoe to Atlantic City, recommending which brands to retire and which to keep. "I wanted to prove myself capable of running my own work stream. That was my ticket to getting promoted. Of course, I also had to prove myself within the Las Vegas team - show I could 'stay in the game.' To 'stay in the game', team members worked 10 hour days and then partied until 2 or 3 in the morning. Their group of six dined at exclusive restaurants, paid for by the client, and then gambled, using their own money. One member who didn't gamble was soon kicked off the project. "It was easy to rationalize staying out with colleagues quite late instead of getting back early enough to sleep and have a decent quiet time in the morning. It's amazing what happens as you gamble. If you have an opportunistic mentality, and always think in terms of the positive, you think even if you're down, you're gonna pull back up again."
Anna Marie didn't lose much of her own money, and when assessing the casinos outside Las Vegas, her gambling losses were reimbursed by the company. What she did lose, however, was her spiritual footing. "You start out thinking you are invincible because you are a Christian, you read the bible, you pray. But there are so many temptations, even the strongest of people get derailed. When you are with a team, there is a pull to do the things they do." "Being on the road is a dangerous place for a Christian. You struggle most with temptations when you are away from home because the constraints are not there. Loneliness sets in. Hotels bombard you with pornography and ways to spend money unnecessarily. All those things weaken you toward committing sin you will regret later." Spending Christmas back with her family jolted Anna Marie's conscience. She decided to make some changes. She invested more time with Christians in San Francisco on the weekends, getting involved with music and a bible study in a recommended church. She pulled back from the team's night life where marital infidelities had begun, as well as trips to bars 'littered with prostitutes'. A friend recommended Pocket Prayers for Work (Ed. Mark Greene, CHP, £5.99). Anna Marie would read one each morning as she took a cab to the casino headquarters. "Those prayers helped protect my mind. I actually had a renaissance of my faith and took on a witnessing role with my project manager. I wouldn't be surprised if she is a Christian now."
On their last night, Anna Marie's team had a contest to guess who would leave the company first. No one mentioned her name, but Anna Marie thought, "God, I want to go." Following Las Vegas, she spent a week in Portugal to take a life inventory. The desire to compete in her firm's culture was gone. She decided to find another job, change churches, and find a new group of friends. "Don't be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind," is the verse from Romans 12 that helped Anna change her life philosophy. "I go back to that verse again and again. For me, it means not taking world's paradigm for success - being at the top, and doing whatever it takes to get there." "I value the time spent in Las Vegas. God used it to teach me that I wasn't invincible and clearly as susceptible to the most obvious temptations as anyone. The experience was humbling." When Anna Marie moved to Towers Perrin a month later, she set some new ground rules - midweek involvement in church activities, no more long-term assignments. On the road, Anna Marie calls friends who affirm her. She uses room service rather than eating out alone, which increases loneliness. She doesn't watch television. And after work, she has one drink with colleagues and then goes to bed. "You have to spend time with your team. You can't be a recluse as my Christian commune taught me growing up. But things sometimes unravel after several drinks.
I'm open and honest right away and tell them I go to church. They then don't expect so much out of me. I have a boundary and they respect that." Quiet times on the road are crucial. "It's critical to not gloss over reading scripture. Praying feels odd in a hotel room. It takes a conscious effort. Have verses in mind that anchor you. Meditate on those." Anna Marie herself finds particular strength in 1 John 4:8: "Perfect love casts out fear." In other words, she says, "fear and love can't coexist." It's a verse that keeps her future in perspective as well. "I'm still ambitious, but I now realize the outcome is up to God. I focus on being a good steward with my mental capacity. God will give me the success when I need it, if I need it at all. It's a much less stressful life."
'There's a sense of urgency about getting promoted'
'As soon as I arrived, I was taken aback by the sheer glamour and headiness of the place'
'Even the strongest of people get derailed'
'I'm still ambitious, but I now realize the outcome is up to God'
Jane Peterson
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