Severing the tie that binds
"I'm not the conventional bullied person. I'm durable. I don't see myself as a victim," says 48-year-old John Doe. "But the senior partner tried to dismantle everything I had tried to do. I was made to feel like the opposition." Until a few months ago, John was an equity partner responsible for the architectural side of a construction firm. Effectively, that meant managing a quarter of the business flow. He loved many aspects of the work, especially the learning curve, which never seemed to end. However, he could not abide being undermined repeatedly by his boss. "I would walk into the 'spinning blades' of partner meetings and feel an icy chill. If you dared cross my boss, you were punished. Pulling our strings was entertainment for him."
John decided to resign in 2004, shortly after he read about bullying in a pamphlet from ACAS - the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service. "It was a revelation to me. I realised I myself had been bullied for years." In order to unravel the substantial legal bonds that tied him to his firm, John stayed in his position for more than a year. "At the end of the day, we were in agreement," John said. "I wanted to go and he wanted me to go." Early years in the firm were substantially different. Soon after John started in 1986, he was considered a rising star. He admired his boss, who seemed brilliant with clients. The firm boasted a first-rate reputation. "The further you were from the boss, the better the organisation," John recalled. "My boss paid lip service to our firm's goals, but didn't believe in them." The firm's number one goal was to 'develop and respect people' in an 'absolutely consistent fashion.'
In an industry with a very poor record on health and safety, as well as fairness towards women and minorities, John believed developing and respecting people was indispensable and nonnegotiable. "My boss was like the rich fool in Jesus' parable. He tore down the barn to build a bigger one. He was consumed with money, power and admiring the things he owned." "Bullying at the partner level was cyclical. People would enjoy the periods when someone else was getting it. If you were in his good graces you would get the new office furniture. If you had crossed him, you got the leftovers." For partners out of favour, the boss also withheld public recognition for business success. In one instance, John said his boss demoted him from the lead role on a project destined to win an award. "He actually rewrote the record on the project. It was Stalinist."
The bullying technique proved effective. Most partners would not disagree with the senior partner; they would remain conciliatory and reap the financial rewards, including fat pay checks and expensive company cars. Increasingly, John did not play by those rules. "I wasn't afraid of my boss. If something wasn't right, I would not hold back. I was permanently out of favour." John believes his faith made him fearless. "Being a committed Christian changes the way you view the trauma. I was following an agenda of Christian ethics that pulled me inexorably to a bust up." The decision to leave was also much easier because John felt financially secure. He is hesitant to tell someone to give up a job if it would be difficult to get another one. "My advice to others going through similar circumstances is this: bring it to God and don't be in a rush for an answer. A picture will emerge. I would often say to God, 'open the right doors. Close the wrong doors. I'm struggling to understand what to do.' Through that process, God answers." Time after time John said he would reflect on Jesus' command to be 'wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove.' "The higher up you go in an organisation, the tougher and more unpleasant the culture. You have to be sharp and clever without being nasty and manipulative." John said he never directly confronted his boss about the harassment. "I haven't talked to him in terms like, 'you are bullying people, and you are bullying me.' We did have frank conversations about his management style not working with me." "Do I feel the need to forgive him? I've tried to examine myself. I don't feel I harbour personal animosity. I've prayed for my boss and my fellow partners many times." Still, John does not plan to talk to his boss in the future. "After so many years in a firm, investing a lot of time and energy, it's rather like a divorce. You can't predict how you'll feel. Some emotions are akin to bereavement - feelings of loss and denial."
Since severing ties with his firm this spring, John has started setting up his own business. He plans to advise clients on drawing up construction plans - particularly smaller businesses and charities that don't require multimillion pound makeovers. "Going from certainty in my working life to not knowing what lies ahead is curiously exciting. I'm conscious that God might have something different for me to do in the years ahead. Time is precious."
'If you dared cross my boss, you were punished'
'Bullying at the partner level was cyclical '
'it's rather like a divorce. You can't predict how you'll feel. Some emotions are akin to bereavement'
Jane Peterson
Links
Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS) www.acas.org.uk
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