Unfading beauty

 by Margaret Killingray (Word for the Week 02-06-2008) 

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  1 Peter 3:3,4

Most of us live with a certain amount of dissatisfaction about the way we look.  We are bombarded with images of clothes, cosmetics, style and fashion, makeovers and surgery that just might give us the look we long for.  Peter was talking to women, but today cosmetics and fashion are no longer just a female issue, as sales of make-up, grooming products and cosmetic surgery for men continue to increase.  

He was also, I imagine, talking about jewellery and clothes that spoke of wealth and status, and braided hair that suggested a personal maid’s attention.  But how should we read these verses?  Christians over the centuries have had very different views of outward adornment, from Roundheads and Cavaliers, hermits and cardinals, Quakers and Anglicans.  If we enjoy fully participating in the fun of fashion and colour coordination, then we have to face the reproach of the drab slightly out-of-date ‘avoiders of the world’.  Philip Larkin described a middle way in his moving poem, Born Yesterday.  Don’t wish beauty for the baby, ‘May you be ordinary… not ugly, not good-looking… nothing uncustomary to pull you off your balance.’  

So our outward adornment should not display wealth, nor excessive engagement with our appearance, but a workable normality, with occasional bursts of fun and exuberance.  Yet it is difficult not to feel our self-confidence being sapped by our perception that we don’t look quite attractive enough, for our audience, our customers, or our colleagues.   First impressions matter far too much in our fast moving, over-busy western world.  

Working at the gentle and quiet spirit of our inner self may take a lot more time and effort than getting a better hairdresser.  A habit of prayer where we bring to the Lord the anxieties, fears and disappointments that disturb our spirit; a conscious ever-present quiet joy in his undeserved love; and a recognition of the unfading beauty of gentle and quiet spirits in those around us, may make us less reliant on how we look.